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HASH MAG VOLUME 18 ISSUE 5 (November 2000)

Chew Valley Lake Picnic Area
Sunday 30 July 2000, run number 895
Hare: Lightning

Write up: Turtle.

I hadn’t run with Bristol Hash in YEARS (special events notwithstanding). Here I was though at the Chew Valley Lake picnic site, raring to go. A quick run down of my pre-run checklist to make sure that I had remembered everything before the off:

Been to the loocheck
Shorts check
Socks check
Shoes check
Running vest check
Enthusiasm um…
Whiffy check

11:00 and 01 seconds and PJ was wondering aloud why we hadn’t left yet and handing out free pens (well I got one anyway). He was a fine one to talk, he wasn’t out of his trousers yet! (ooh err!).

The trail can be summarised as follows:

  • On the plus side: choc ices; sunshine; good views; an interesting trail; a sneaky regroup at the end.
  • On the minus side: No choc ice for Ray (Kneed ate it); sunburn; nettle stings; a trail that did not follow the prescribed BH3 route from that start-point; a sneaky regroup at the end.
The sneaky regroup at the end allowed the hare to overtake the runners to prepare the Pimms and Lemonade at the end. Everyone thought Dan was very posh to even consider Pimms a suitable drink for a hash, but drank it anyway. Whiffy liked the Pimms best, I liked the Lemonade, Soprano liked the Strawberries and Spiderman liked the Mint. Bingo!

Off to the pub in Chew Magna for some booze and the down downs. Soprano ran to the pub but avoided castigation because of her position as the Hash’s First Lady. She’s in training apparently, although I can’t imagine why she should want to be any faster, there is a speed limit on the roads these days you know!!!

Down downs were memorable but I don’t remember them. I do recall Kneed wasting good beer by pouring it over his head, and lost property being doled out: Jan got back the clothes that Dan had borrowed and Sweatmonster broke out into a smile at the return of his beloved ‘Penang’ hat.

Then on to Dan's house for BBQ, beer and swimming pool hi-jinx. If all Bristol Hashes are this much fun you'll be seeing me again soon.

On on!

HASH MAG VOLUME 18 ISSUE 5 (November 2000)

HASH BEACH B.B.Q. SAND BAY, W-S-M, JUNE 2000.

THE MASTER PLAN: THE REALITY:
Clear, sunny, warm, day.Clear, dry, not very warm.
No wind.Blowing a gale off the sea on-shore.
Usual quality bollocks trail.Usual quality bollocks trail.
Hash hoardes turn up, so buy enough salads, cider, plates etc. to feed them.Only a dozen Hashers turn up, over run with salads, cider, plates etc.
Set trail in the morning. Trail set in the morning.
Take friend’s dog we are looking after with me to set the trail. Just before half way round setting the trail, lose dog. Abandon search after half an hour to finish trail in time. Second half of trail complete bollocks.
Take in an Ice Cream stopIce Cream stop a success.
Take in a reverential stop out side Bob Reynolds house.Knock on Bob’s door not expecting an answer as I know he’s in Hong Kong. But wife answers whose always hated Hashers. She makes feeble excuse about no beer in fridge. Hashers exit rapidly stage left.
Don’t lose anyone to injuryGullible twists ankle, he and Celia short cut back, missing Ice Cream stop and BBQ.
Have a good time on the beach apres HashSpend a short time on beach spent huddled against wind. BBQ a great success as wind makes it go with `gusto’. Too cold to stay long, so a quick nibble and off home to warm up.

LIFE'S A BITCH (SHOULDN'T THAT BE "BEACH"? - ED.) THEN YOU BECOME A HASHER & THEN IT REALLY GOES DOWN THE TUBES!! MR WHIPPY.