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Minutes of the 25th Annual General Piss-Up held on 31st March 2007 at The Shakespeare, Victoria Street, Bristol.

Minutes Secretary: Wolfie.

The meeting was opened by the Grand Master, Wet Wipe, who welcomed those present.

1. Apologies for absence. There were no apologies for absence. However, an apology was received for an "acrid smell of eggs" detected in an area furthest from the bar, near the window.

2. Minutes of the last meeting held on 1st April 2006.

Some members complained that they didn't have copies of the minutes. Wolfie explained that this was 2007 and members may have heard of a new technology, the Internet, by now. The minutes of the last meeting had been available via that medium for the last 12 months. Puki Jangut said that he had recently got that interweber thingy and had, in fact, wondered whether to press the bit, on the Hash website, where it said "Read Last Year's Minutes", but he hadn't liked to risk it.

Two motions were proposed, one to agree with the minutes of the last meeting and one to disagree, both of which were passed, unapposed.

3. Outgoing Officers' Reports:

3.1. Grand Master. Wet Wipe, struggling to control an often-hostile audience said she had enjoyed her year at the helm, but that there was still lots to do. Amid some very loud heckling (including, amazingly, "bring back Clem!") she announced her plans for a, so called, "final solution". Whilst she conceded that this would include some judicious culling, she felt that it would only make the Hash stronger in the future, at least for the next thousand years. She had also started talks with the Sudentenland Hash House Harriers with a view to annexation.

3.2. Hash Cash. Sleepy distributed the output from C.A.S.H. (Computerised Accounting System for Hashes) for the year January 2006 to December 2006, inclusive. Following an equiry from Spiderman he eventually agreed to remove the item headed "Bidesmaids' Dresses" from the Expenses column and the accounts BELOW reflect this later amendment. Lunchbox stated that an extraordinary general meeting, called after the run on 14th January 2007 specifically to increase membership fees, had caused some ill feeling, as it was widely considered that this could only be approved at an AGPU, and that, even then, documentary or other evidence should be produced, either retrospectively or, when known, in anticipation of future expenses. He felt that a vote should be taken at this meeting to approve the increase from £10.00 to £15.00 per six months for members. [The previous alternative rate of £1.00 per run for occasional runners would be maintained.] This was then proposed and approved.

3.3. On-Sec and Stats. Wolfie said that there was nothing to report as On-Sec, but, as Statsman, he could report that the average number of hashers per run in 2006 was 16, which, when viewed over the last seven years, was about average.

3.4. Religious Advisor. Fat Controller said that the Beer Master (Clem) "hadn't done fuck all" last year. Clem replied that, au contraire, he had done fuck all, so there, and anyway, Fat Controller hadn't asked him to do anything. The arguement soon degenerated into verbal abuse, then physical violence, with Fat Controller eventually winning due to a weight advantage.

3.5. Hare Raiser. Spiderman said that he needed hares for the 15th and 22nd April. It was thought by other members that this was an inappropriate occasion for hare raising. Lunchbox proposed a vote of thanks to Spiderman which was approved overwhelmingly.

3.6. Social Committee. Mad Max reported that she hadn't been here much. Lunchbox proposed a vote of thanks to Mad Max which was approved overwhelmingly.

3.7. Haberdasher. Soprano reported that Hash Haberdashery was almost bankrupt. Lunchbox proposed a vote of thanks to Soprano which was approved overwhelmingly.

4. Hash Pub Awards. Wet Wipe suggested that there be an annual award for the best and worst hash pubs. It was proposed that certificates, for display behind the bars of the pubs concerned, be awarded, although it was pointed out that having a certificate printed for the "Most Shit Pub of the Year" may be a waste of money. Wolfie suggested that various categories (Beer quality/price; Friendliness/service; Suitability of location; etc.) be "scored" each week. There was general enthusiasm for this idea and it was agreed that Wet Wipe would make some proposals as to the general administration of the scheme.

5. The Bristol and Associated Hashes Pension Scheme (BAHPS) report.

An ashen-faced BAHPS administrator, Lunchbox said that there was a very big Black Hole in the fund and the only way the scheme could be maintained was to raise the qualifying age, currently at 68, by one year each April 1st. Puki Jangut stated that, as the oldest member at 67, he instinctively felt that there was something wrong with this arrangement, but couldn't quite put his finger on it. There were suggestions that this may constitute age-discrimination, but, as Lunchbox pointed out, anyone over 65 is a bit, you know, bonkers anyway, so the likelihood of anyone taking any action would be remote. Puki Jangut thanked Lunchbox for his kind attention, said that he looked too young to be a real doctor, and wondered if it would be at all possible to stop the nurses from stealing his clothes as it seemed rather cold for August.

6. Resignation of Officers. Those officers present were asked to resign and accept down-downs.

7. Election of Officers.

The following officers were elected:

  • Grand Master: Wet Wipe.
  • Joint Masters: Clem, and Fat Controller.
  • Hash Cash: Sleepy.
  • On-Sec, Stats and Webshite: Wolfie.
  • Hare Raiser: Spiderman.
  • Religious Advisor: Massive
  • Beer Master: Lunchbox
  • Hash Horn: Lunchbox
  • Haberdasher: Soprano.
  • Mee-mee: Soprano.
  • Awards Co-ordinator: Soprano.
  • Deputy Dog: Jed.
  • Social Committee: Sweatmonster (Chair) and 10cc.
  • Hash Flash: Smurf
  • Hasher Basher: Soprano.

8. Any Other Business.

8.1. Lunchbox reported that he had sacked his legal team and would, in future, be conducting his own case re the the Grand Bru (1991) scandal. This had, inevitably, led to some delays, but he hoped to make a statement at the next AGPU.

8.2. It was proposed that the meeting adjourn to The Cornubia for some decent beer, as there was only Youngs left at £2.80 per pint. This was passed unanimously.

9. Date of Next Meeting: Saturday, 5th April, 2008.

See pictures of this event.