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Not a hash report, but worth a quick note:
Clevedon Boxing Day Run had seven BOGS hashers running, managing the four-mile course on a Sunny Chilly Boxing Day morning:
Royalty 29:39
Wrong Way 30:25
Rewind 33:10
Cinderella 36:38
Duracell 36:38
Kerb Crawler 45:52
Walky Talky 47:35
A good mix of times which should encourage runners (walkers) of all abilities to give hashing with BOGS a try.
Cinderella.
Run 104, 17th December 2008.
WHERE:
Old Inn, Clevedon.
HARES: Kerb Crawler & Walky Talky.
SCRIBES: Walky Talky & Cinderella.
RHYMING RUN REPORT:
There was a last-minute replacement for ill hare Deep Throat:
Kerb Crawler and Walky Talky, in response to the email request he wrote.
In the Old Inn car park the seven hashers and DT met
Where they were informed only a short(ish) trail had been set.
When we realised there was no-one else coming
We all headed towards All Saint’s Church, a-running.
Then came the first of many turn backs, not far into the trail -
To keep the walkers not far behind the runners didn’t fail.
First out t'ward the M5, then back to the Triangle in the centre of town,
We went past evening revellers - who looked on with a quizzical frown.
Then the hash trail came up through Herbert Gardens and the penny did drop
That Deep Throat and Swallow’s house would be tonight’s Beer Stop!
Then On-On to the Old Inn by nine,
Where brown bread ham and cheese sandwiches and chips suited us all just fine.
We hope you had a good Christmas and hope to see you all on another hash in 2009!
Run 103, 10th December 2008.
Despite my limited knowledge of Portishead, a somewhat dubious sense of direction and frequent changes of mind about which road to take, I made it to Queens Road on time. This was my last hash with Bogs, so I couldn't miss it! - Head Down.
WHERE:
Bag Lady & Inchworm's place, Portishead.
HARES: Bag Lady & Inchworm.
RUN REPORT: We gathered in Bag Lady and Inchworms back garden to adorn ourselves in tinsel and reindeer antlers. Even Buster joined in the festive look. A brisk &Old Father Abraham& and we were off. Now there will be a bit of a blackhole and vagueness about where we went as I spent most of the time talking, following and generally not paying attention to where we went. What I do remember is crispy, smelly, shiggy followed by a war zone. Oh, ok, so it was a Paintball zone, but I think amongst the gloom I could see rocket launchers and armoured vehicles and the like. Then over the brow of the hill and view across to the twinkling lights of Wales (I think it was Wales, but my sense of direction as I have said can be a bit creative). On down a hill, turn right and a gentle trot along the coast, up right at some point, up some more. There followed some confusion over a Turnback - was it 3 or 5? then the Regroup.
At the regroup we were treated with an Arabic dish - dates with marzipan, which were actually rather nice. We carried on a little more and then it was On Inn!
At the Hash Circle the hares were "thanked" for their hash, there were a couple of late- comers and I think there was an offence, but I am not sure who and what for. There was some lovely smelling mulled wine which disappeared very quickly.
Into a lovely warm house, where we had a festive turkey dish and shared the various provisions. It was Cinderellas 21st Birthday, which Kerb Crawler had lovingly taken the time to pop down to Morrisons to pick up a cake.
Then some singing, a tune to celebrate my departure to the big smoke and some festive ones about running over cats.
Thank you to everyone for being so friendly, and I hope I'll make a reappearance one day.
Run 102, 3rd December 2008.
WHERE:
The Dovecote, Ashton, Bristol.
HARES: Head Down, Deep Throat and Duracell.
RUN REPORT: This time I know exactly where we went! I laid it, with my able assistants DT and Duracell. It was cold when we laid it and it was cold when we ran it!
We - the Select Group - started at the Dovecote Inn and had to clamber over a small obstacle to get us out into Ashton Court Estate, we came up to the house and along to the deer enclosure, where we were sorted for size or agility by a rather sturdy fence, where we then headed towards the Northern gate. There we turned left onto the Mountain Bike Trail and trotted along there for a bit, only met two sets of bikers. Regroup midway along that section of trail and then off towards the golf course. DTs turnbacks and Falsies kept the runners and walkers pretty much together. At a crucial point we vered off left (South) back towards the house and stopped shortly afterwards for regroup part II - with a scenic view over Bristol and towards Dundry - where I think I have managed to firmly put in place a new tradition of a Sweetie stop - Chocolate snowmen and Chocolate coins this time!
Off down towards the woods - whilst the runners fell for another of DTs False trails. Through the woods, out at the Graffitti wall, down to the houses and "The Big Head" on down towards the house and then home!
CIRCLE: Royalty made a quick exit with Buster, and the hares were thrown into the middle. I narrowly missed a second down down for drinking with my hat on! Then Cinders, Inchworm, in fact everyone else was done for short cutting - a decision that was motivated by short cutting the time spent outside!
ON ON ON: In the pub, Rewind presented me with a Headtorch with flashing lights and a fixing that meant it would fall down or have to be worn upside down, so that it would fall down off my head.
Thanks once again to DT and Duracell for the Hash, without them it wouldn't have been so enjoyable (for me!).
SCRIBE: Head Down.
Room Run 101, 26th November 2008.
WHERE:
The Poacher, Portishead.
HARES: Inchworm and Backchat.
RUN REPORT: To be a good Environmental Health Officer you need to be good at writing up your evidence contemporaneously, to avoid the accusation of making it all up. So, here are the results of my scribbles...
A good dozen of us met in The Poachers car park in Portishead. There was a strange vibrating manhole cover, that turned out to be a "poo pump" and whilst we caught up on how Back Chat and Inchworm met, half the hash disappeared. No rallying call, just half the hash drifting off and the others suddenly realising it was time to go, where upon Backchat lived up to her name.
Now it being dark and me not knowing Portishead I don't really know where we went, but there were houses, footpaths, a big field and a hill (where Cinderella found a flashing red light lying in the grass, which fortunately was not a bomb as he suggested), a zig zag hill down, some slippery steps and eventually we arrived at a lighthouse. At the light house we did some star gazing, spotted the North Star and maybe a galaxy or two. Then it was on on to the Beer Stop at the Windmill where we had a pre Hash Circle for Marium plus one and Jo and some Ginger and Carrots. The glow of the Christmas lights lit our way back to the Poacher.
CIRCLE: The hares were in for a hash which was too short and had too much flour - it's the credit crunch apparently. Rewind received a dressing down for showing disrespect to the hash trash - (shame on you Rewind!), Bag Lady for a lack of communication - not sure what she failed to communicate and to whom, so it must be true! There were some short cutters as well.
In the warmth of the pub, next to the roaring country - gas fired - fire we tucked into sandwiches and sausages. Then it was time for me to go.
CRIBE: Head Down.
Run 100, 19th November 2008.
BOGS 100th RUN, RED DRESS RUN #1 AND AGM.
The line-up.
The line-up.
Fireworks!
Fireworks!
Copyright BBC
NB: the above photo © BBC Crimewatch programme.
Rossers
The Rossers!
Brrrrr!
Keeping warm

WHERE: Newton House, Clevedon.
HARE: DT.
RUN REPORT: Gathered in our red outfits, truly a sight to behold, DT led the warm up and called ON ON. The well-tried and tested route from this venue is: "out the door, turn left, cross the road then right into the park" so I was surprised when the pack headed straight on past the park entrance. But inevitably there was a turn back and into the park we went. After that, we ran around the rest of Clevedon sometimes in the reverse direction to normal creating an element of novelty to the trail.
CIRCLE: Stunned as I was by the redness of the occasion, I'm not sure who took Down Downs but Swallow and Backchat were up for not wearing red and dereliction of duty (they were chatting so we had to wait 5 minutes for the chilli); Inchworm, Big Stick & DT, resplendent in their wigs, came forward so we could all admire them as did Rex and his false frontal appendage. Bag Lady, & Bovver for short cutting; Walky Talky, Cinderella and Kerb Crawler for arriving too late for the photos (shyness, perhaps?); Tom & Zosia for voyeurism – watching the warm-up but not taking part – peeping Tom?; Inchworm's 50th run and Head Down's 15th with BOGS were celebrated – well done both. And then two hash handles were awarded: Phil who runs all over the place and keeps going was named "Duracell" while Zosia's name was discussed and, owing to an unfortunate incident a few weeks ago which left her face-down in shiggy, she will henceforth and evermore in hashing circles be known as "Splatt". Not sure who else came up but I noticed Rewind in a fetching red garment and everyone had made some effort to meet the needs of the occasion. A good effort all round carrying on a Hash tradition.
ON ON ON: DT & Swallow had laid on chilli and with other sweet contributions from us all, a fine table of food awaited us. After which the AGPU convened.

MINUTES OF THE AGPU:
DT opened the meeting and explained that the purpose of this occasion is to complain about the way the Mismanagement has run the Hash over the past year and to sort out a new Mismanagement for the coming year. As members clamoured to fill roles shouting "pick me, pick me!" (or not), the following positions were decided upon -

  1. Grand Master: no takers so DT's stuck with it.
  2. Religious Advisor: Bovver didn't quite know what she was taking on but didn't shout "NO" loud enough so she's landed with that role.
  3. Hash Stats: Walky Talky will continue in this role.
  4. Hash Cash: outlined the current financial position along with print-outs of the annual accounts. It was agreed to keep the food price at £2.00 with £1.00 for the run for the immediate future as there is currently cash-in-hand to cover any shortfalls. Insurance this year is likely to be £180. As she's managed to keep us solvent so far, Kerb Crawler will continue as Hash Cash.
  5. Hash Trash: Bag Lady is about to go off on one of her jollies, so a new Hash Trash is required. Head Down has offered to take that role until Christmas when she will be leaving to work in the Metropolis. A new Hash Trash would then be required until mid-March at least.
  6. Hash Beer Master: Coppertone will be away with Bag Lady so Inchworm and Backchat have offered to take over. Coppertone is willing to assist when he's back.
  7. Hair Raiser: this role is still in DT's lap.
And with that lot sorted, it was time to use up some more of the fireworks brought for Guy Fawkes Night.
Run 99, 12th November 2008.
WHERE:
The Dew Drop Inn, Flax Bourton.
HARES: Bovver & Mark.
RUN REPORT: It started badly when Bovver described an area of the trail which would take us through knee-deep water but she explained that there was an alternative route through loads of stinging nettles. So that's alright then. We were also informed there would be three possible trails at some points – for Amblers, Walkers and Runners. Leaving the pub, we headed SW on the Weston Road quickly leading into the wooded hinterland and a network of lanes and footpaths. This eventually led over the railway line and through lots of boggy fields where every style was found to have a mini-bog on either side of it. When we came to the promised knee-deep water we were not disappointed – the stingers were there ready and waiting. While two runners chose the water the rest of us took the stinging option. On Back over the railway and the Beer Stop was found overlooking the railway track. While Mark led the Amblers and Walkers, the rest of the pack accompanied Bovver and about half a mile later we were back at the chariots changing our muddy boots and socks.
CIRCLE: Hares Bovver and Mark came forward for a Down Down for what was generally agreed was an excellent trail and well-worthy of the name Bogs of Somerset. Runners-who-became-Walkers were up next – Poacher, Tom, Cinderella and Zosia followed by Tom again (he must like his beer) for wearing a hat while taking the previous DD. Big Stick came front and centre next as our returnee but Bag Lady's comment of "is he going to drink alone?" prompted Coppertone to volunteer to accompany him so the two of them took their DDs together. Lost property DDs were awarded to Kerb Crawler for leaving her HiViz jacket in another hasher's car and to Bag Lady whose headlight had fallen off her head on the trail but was found by Tom & Zosia so up they came too. Finally Poacher came up for not finishing her DD earlier and Royalty because she still had a drink in her hand.
ON ON ON: Unfortunately this very pretty pub (illuminated with lots of sparkly lights outside) did not allow dogs indoors so Royalty and Buster had to turn tail and head homeward for refreshment. Inside we were joined by Deep Throat (who was suffering from a cold so kept his distance) along with Rewind and Gill. Generous quantities of sandwiches were served: cheese & tomato, cheese & cucumber and cheese & cheese) and a couple of bowls of excellent chips.
Run 98, 5th November 2008:

WHERE:
Windmill, Portishead.
HARES: DT, Poacher, Knee Trembler.
RUN REPORT: This Hash is entitled THE GUY FAWKES HASH. As incendiary devices were set off all around us lighting up the sky, the pack headed for the Lake Grounds via the coast where the trail led through the woods and on towards The Royal. The Hares had promised a short hash and they managed this by not straying too far from Nore Road which was crossed near the United Reformed Church but soon climbed towards West Hill and back to the Windmill across the golf course. No shiggy and about 3 miles long – easy.
CIRCLE & ON ON ON: Jumping in their chariots, the hashers took themselves off to Rowan Cottage where a circle was formed. The Hares were first up and were complemented for their artistic hash markings on the trail leading to a new name for Knee Trembler of Flour Power. Taking her Down Down, the newly-named Flour Power forgot to take her hat off so had to take another drink. A bunch of hashers came forward at the call for the SCBs but the honour of the Down Down was awarded to both Zoe (marking 15 runs) and DT marking 50 runs as Hare. To put this in perspective, this is run number 98 and DT has hared 50 of those 98. A commemorative T-shirt was awarded. Now I'm sure a precedent has been set here, hashers – just set 50 hashes and that T-shirt will be yours. Go on, you know it makes sense. Then it was time for the arsonists to get to work on the fireworks. Coppertone's bonfire attempt had been thwarted by rain earlier in the day and the drizzle was now attacking the fireworks which took a while to ignite. But a display was forthcoming eventually and rockets and whizzy things lit up the sky while the rest of us waved sparklers. Sausages and potato wedges were followed by traditional Parkin (2 varieties). The remaining fireworks are being carefully stored until BOGS 100th Hash so will not go to waste.
Run 97, 29th October 2008:

WHERE:
Sawyers Arms, Nailsea.
HARE: Rewind.
RUN REPORT: This hash is entitled the "THE DUNG HEAP HASH". Actually it was worse than that. Not only did the trail take the pack up and over the largest dung heap you've ever seen in your life, this was preceded by a trek across a ploughed field full of ruts and dips – shiggy central, basically. After every style was a mire of shiggy and no one escaped an ankle deep experience. Rewind's little heart must have soared when he saw the rain falling earlier in the day with the inevitable consequences on the land. So, the good points: it didn't really rain during the run, we were out in the countryside taking the airs, everyone was happy and we all got some exercise. Rewind took the executive decision to shorten the trail as it was getting somewhat chilly (British understatement there) but managed to get one and all to the Beer Stop at a friend's house (Ann and Dave, your efforts were appreciated – thank you).
CIRCLE & ON ON ON: As everyone knew there was a roaring log fire inside the pub, no objections were raised to Cinderella's proposal that we head straight for the bar. Once safely inside, Rewind's efforts were acknowledge with a swift half of the local brew. Virgin Tom took a Down Down as he was welcomed with the usual Hash Song along with Zosia who had fallen flat on her face earning herself the title Flat Face – will it stick, I wonder? Then the food started to appear. First, feta cheese with chillies plus black and green olives, followed by guacamole with crudités, followed by dainty savoury pastry tartlets followed by plates of sausages and chips followed by slices of buttered and unbuttered bread – how good is that? And all for the usual £2 per person. As the landlord said, he'll make someone a good wife one of these days. A hot fire and a fine spread – good choice, Rewind.
Run 96, 22nd October 2008:
WHERE:
The Lord Nelson, Cleeve.
HARES: Walky Talky and Kerb Crawler.
RUN REPORT: This Hash is entitled the Git-orf-my-land Hash owing to the presence of an unsavoury local who decided that, rather than putting up a sign to say "Private Property", he'd just shout at people. Takes all sorts. But that did not damper the spirits one iota as the pack set off along the A370 to disappear across the road and into the woodlands. My wet and muddy trainers reveal that there was plenty of shiggy along the country lanes and throughout this cross-country trail which gave us all the chance to appreciate the changing colours of autumn (OK, you couldn't see it in the dark but you knew it was there).
CIRCLE: You can tell that winter is a-comin' in as the Circle becomes shorter. Hares up – Down Down. Trespassers up (Back Chat & Walky Talky) – Down Down. Latecomers up (Coppertone, Poacher, Bag Lady & Cinderella) – Down Down. Everyone else – Down Down. Dash for pub without even a passing mention of Head Down's silver sparkly pumps.
ON ON ON: No sarnies tonight but a couple of welcome plates of excellent chips along with plenty of bread and butter – DIY chip butties.
Run 95, 15th October 2008:
WHERE:
The Ship, Redcliffe Bay.
HARES: Poacher (previously known as Poached but who could get their teeth around that?) Coppertone & Bag Lady.
RUN REPORT: We have come to expect torrential rain when the Portishead trio decide to set a trail but they disappointed us this time as the rain fell only on themselves while setting the trail which gave them a perfect excuse for the absence of flour along the way. Starting off from The Ship it was ON ON to the Gordano Valley where we skirted the quarry and dipped in to Weston Big Wood before heading to the coastal path and the Beer Stop alongside the Sailing Club. (Despite encouragement Rewind refused to get his kit off and take a dip.) While the runners continued to the Tank Farm, the walkers followed Knee Trembler on a shortcut back to the ON INN. The rain duly returned during the run in, but we missed the worst of it.
CIRCLE: As the rain was falling and we were late for our appointment with the sandwiches, a quick Circle recognised the Hares followed by everyone else as there were no Virgins, Stats or Hash crimes.
ON ON ON: Ham, corned beef and coronation chicken on brown bread with a couple of salad plates for the veggies – all fresh and tasty.
Run 93, 1st October 2008:

WHERE:
The Old Inn, Clevedon.
HARE: Deep Throat.
RUN REPORT: The hare set out to find a new route from the Old Inn and succeeded in keeping 15 people and two dogs guessing. An initial tour of Lower Clevedon housing estates and back alleys found its way eventually into Court Woods. The walkers and runners kept reasonably in touch through the woods, with each getting their share of checks and everyone (including the hare at times) pretty confused about where the trail was heading. A regroup on a high bank introduced a change of scene, with a steep bum-slide into the upper zone of Conygar Quarry. A delicate skirting of the quarry edge (after due warning from the hare) led the pack down a long tunnel as the quarry roads slowly return to nature. The runners were treated to a detour to the quarry gates, during which Inchworm demonstrated his famous back-flip, before rejoining the walkers on the descent to the beer stop on Norton's Wood Lane. On-in was enlivened for the runners by a stile buried in nettles, while the walkers and dogs had an easy stroll back down the road.
Down-downs were awarded to the hare, returnees Big Stick and Flasher, and to Inchworm for doing his thing. Finally Zoe Bond was honoured with her new hash name: Miss Led.
The Old Inn provided a very satisfactory pile of sandwiches and chips, which was washed down in the traditional way.
Run 92, 24th September 2008:
WHERE:
The Nova Scotia, Hotwells, Bristol.
HARES: Head Down & Phil.
RUN REPORT: This must have been one of the most scenic runs that we have done, on a wonderful clear sunny evening - and no-one had a camera to capture any of the many views!
Starting at the Nova Scotia we followed the waterfront to the bottom of Jacobs Wells Road - admiring the views of the floating harbour, SS Great Britain, etc. Then it was up into Brandon Hill to take in the views from the base of Brandon tower.
A jaunt up Pro-Cathedral Lane and then on to Clifton and then another view point from Royal York Crescent. As it was Clifton the route had to take in a view over the Suspension Bridge before leading us through the bushes on the edge of the Downs and then down Bridge Valley Road to the Portway. The beer stop was a bit late - after crossing the lock gates under Cumberland flyover, and only 200 yds from returning to the Nova Scotia - but we did get a sweetie stop in Clifton. The lack of beer stop took its toll on Buster who gave up on the final mile, had to be rescued by car, and then taken to the vets for a check up the next day.
NOTE: Report written by Cinderella.
LATEST MEDICAL REPORT: Buster is fine, but the vet said with his build (solid muscle) he needs to give up continuous running 'cos he overheats. Buster, that is, not the vet. So he (Buster) now strolls with the walkers most of the time.
Run 91, 17th September 2008:

WHERE:
The George, Backwell.
RUN REPORT: Following on from last week's religious theme (that was from The Priory) this week's offering was the hash of the six churches - a 6.2km base route from the George at Backwell. The start took us through allotments to Backwell Leisure Centre then over the A370 to a secret location where locals claim six churches can be seen on a clear day. We saw most of them including the tall spire of St. Mary Redcliffe despite fading daylight. Then up to St Andrew's church where the hash financial director had agreed to pay for the bells to accompany us, and higher for another viewpoint at Jubilee Stone. The route was basically anticlockwise around Stancombe Quarry rewarded by a long down hash through Bourton Combe to the beerstop. Using advanced hashcraft the main A370 was completely bypassed getting us safely back to The George where the barman said they had been concerned because of our late return for their feast of sandwiches and drink.
This was also the Backwards memorial hash pioneered by Dr David Maslin who previously only made it as far as Jubilee Stone. Statistics were: 3kg of flour, took 2.75hrs to set by hares REWIND and DEEP THROAT, and about two hours to run/walk. Twelve people and two dogs came but sadly DT had other engagements.
For the Hare, pausing to phone down to check the beerstop from the top of the quarry by Backwell Hill Road, it was a rewarding and impressive sight looking back along the correct trail and seeing both left and right head-torches searching out the false trail marks.
Run report by Rewind.
Run 90, 10th September 2008:

WHERE:
The Priory, Portbury.
RUN REPORT: Cinderella and Wrong Way set us a good-un for our first run this season in the dark through the woods. Multiple stream-crossings, plenty of shiggy, head-high nettles and lots and lots of trees. Not to mention frisky bullocks. The runners and walkers dovetailed nicely, we found the beer stop (on the way back from a long check-back) and everyone made it to the finish eventually. The Priory is a food pub that wouldn't do us hash grub, but the kitchen stays open till 10pm and we could get bread and butter plus a bowl of chips for a reasonable sum.
Run 89, 3rd September 2008:
WHERE:
The Royal Oak, Clevedon.
RUN REPORT: This run was exceptional in many ways:
  • First trail set by Lime Cordial and Zoe, an excellent route which left the runners absolutely knackered (this one anyway) after enormous runners loops.
  • Visiting hasher Anti-Social from somewhere up North (Keighley, but he may be running with Newcastle H3). Definitely an FRB!
  • Weather wet and windy, with a finishing flourish of wind-driven rain on the last lap along the coast which left everyone distinctly damp.
  • No flour - well there was the odd blob here and there and we did manage to find the beer stop.
  • As it was still pretty wild outside, a virtual hash circle was held round a tray of butties in the pub, with down-downs ad-lib.

Run No. 88, 27th August 2008:

WHERE:
The Poacher, High Street, Portishead.
HARE: Inchworm & Backchat.

Run No. 87, 20th August 2008:
WHERE:
George, Abbot's Leigh.
HARE: Bovver.
RUN REPORT: We should have been worried when Bovver announced that she had set the trail on her own and would be following the trail with the walkers while the runners were to be left to their own devices. Inevitably, in no time flat, the runners were split up and lost in the dark, in the rain and ankle deep in shiggy. Zoe strongly suggested that the trail lay “up that way” so a number of us headed “up that way” only to find Upferrit coming towards us – lost, of course. With no good ideas coming forth, Cinders suggested we just head straight down the hill where – low and behold! – a vision of loveliness in the form of Bovver herself appeared before us, complete with Buster, the Hash Hound. No-one was quite sure how that came about but it was on on to eventually arrive at the Beer Stop beside Abbot's Pool. Leaving the BS the FRBs set off only to find themselves heading down the trail they should have come up. A quick rethink and the correct trail was found marked by the word “PUB” and an arrow even the thickest of us couldn't misinterpret.
CIRCLE: The valiant effort by Bovver was recognised in the time honoured manner after which Zoe was called forward along with those she had led astray - which seemed to number one – Bag Lady, the others lying low. Miss Zoe must be up for a naming after that bit of misleading – Miss Leader, perhaps? Cinders called up all the runners who had got lost on the trail – so all the runners took one step forward. That didn't leave many but the final group took their down downs and we took our soggy feet into the pub (except Head Down, of course, who had already changed into a fetching pair of shiny red sloppies).
ON ON ON: It turns out that the nice landlord of the George is an ex-Hasher [still is, with Mendip - Ed.] so big plates of sausages and hot, tasty chips were served almost as soon as we walked through the door. It was a struggle to get through them all but it would have been rude to leave food behind so the team pulled together and demolished the lot. Thank you Mr Landlord.
Run No. 86, 13th August 2008:
WHERE:
The Black Horse, Clapton-in-Gordano.
HARES: Coppertone, Bag Lady and Poached (+ 13 hashers plus Hash Hounds Buster and Poppy).
RUN REPORT: After the traditional BOGS warm up with Father Abraham, the pack set off over a flat, wet trail around the back of the pub and across the moor until they reached a lake. Continuing to wind around the moors, encountering checks and false trails along the way, the pack reached the church on the Clapton-Clevedon lane and a regroup. The trail then headed off towards Clapton village where there was a turn back but everyone eventually arrived at the tunnel under the M5 where they found the Beer Stop. Duly refreshed, it was On On up the hill towards Glenny Wood (the Scout campsite) and up the bridle path to the Cadbury Camp area. A 2 km loop led the whole pack back to the tunnel again ready for the Circle. Total distance was 8 kms.
CIRCLE: Bag Lady had sacrificed the run tonight in order to dash up to Poached's place where a whole load of Ginster's Cornish Pasties were heating up nicely in the oven. These were produced before the Down Downs as the assembled masses stood under the tunnel just a few yards from the pub drinking Coppertone's Home Brew masquerading as Diet Coke. After the Hares Down Down, Virgins Pauline with hound Poppy, Duracell (whose history includes Bristol H3 and Kennet and Avon H3) and Kasia were all called front and centre. Welcome all. Hope you enjoyed BOGS North Somerset offering of shiggy and rain. Inchworm celebrated his first BOGS birthday and was also declared this week's SCB. Royalty and DT were the left behinds, both having found themselves – uh – left behind.
ON ON ON: Out of the tunnel and down the pub for liquid refreshment. No food from the pub as they wanted £3.50pp for sandwiches which we had been advised were not especially good – hence the pasties. However, this 14th pub has a good atmosphere and was a pleasant place to end the evening.

Run Number 85, 6th August 2008.
WHERE:
The George, Backwell.
HARES: Walky Talky & Kerb Crawler.
ATTENDEES: 14 hashers and Buster, the Hash Hound.
RUN REPORT: In the interests of inclusivity, I asked the assembled hashers to give me their versions of the Run Report. This is what they said:
"We went through residential areas then through a bit of mud, through a cow field with bulls and calves with earrings, through a field with nice horsies, saw a deer, a dead rat, a cat, picked up 4 local lads with a laser gun who then tagged along for a few hundred yards - and Buster was panting all the way like some overheated stalker."
CIRCLE: Welcome back to Returnees Phil (second time with us even though she had to pay this time), Royalty and Buster. Hash Stats informed us that Royalty started hashing one year ago today as did Walky Talky who managed to notch up 50, yes 50, runs in that time. The Birthday Song was sung, "you look like a Hasher and smell like one too...". DT must be the SCB this week as he was first back to the pub and Head Down showed us all up by wearing her glittery slip-on shoes to the Circle and was duly honoured for what DT described as "sartorial excellence", whatever that is. They must do things differently on the Hash down in darkest Devon.
ON ON ON: Pleasant surroundings, tasty fillings in the sandwiches.
Run Number 84, 30th July 2008:
WHERE:
The Plough, Congresbury.
HARE: DT.
RUN REPORT: A fine evening despite the dubious weather forecast saw a record pack of 22 hashers set off from the Plough in the wrong direction. A false trail marker soon returned them to the start and this time they found the right trail. A trail through the back streets of Congresbury kept the walkers in touch with the runners up to the first regroup as we emerged into the open country. The next section was a nice run without many checks through meadows (horses, cows, sheep) and beside the the river so a second regroup was needed to bring the pack together again. The runners then chased off on a half-mile false trail giving the walkers a chance to get ahead up Iwood Lane towards the wooded hill looming in the distance. A third regroup near the top of the hill presaged a change from flour to sawdust through the wildlife sanctuary of Kings Wood and on down to the beer stop.
After welcome refreshment the pack set off again across fields, only for the runners to be repelled by a noisy calf and some impressively-horned cows. The walkers caught up and shooed away the beasts and so everyone arrived back safely.
Note: we would have been 24 but Bag Lady was poorly and Poached got knocked off her bike and sustained a broken arm and concussion.
CIRCLE: After the usual DD for the hare we had virgins Philippa (Phil) Madge, plus Robert, Anne and Lukas Determann - visitors from Ettlingen in the Black Forest.
Returnees included Jack Jones from Uphill and Batman from Clevedon (Greyhound H3). Special DD for Rewind who managed to get the wrong side of an electric fence and amused the rest of the pack as he tried to extricate himself. Names for Jack Jones: Nimby (because he declines to run in Weston in case any of his mates recognise him) and Shelley Bougnague: SockEm for a pair of shocking pink socks. Also a rename for Dancing Shoes: Changed to Bovver because even the GM got Dancing Shoes wrong.
ON ON ON: The Plough looked after us. A corner bar to ourselves with four big bowls of chips and sausages helped the conversation along nicely.
Run Number 80, 11th June 2008:

WHERE:
The Old Barn, Wraxall.
HARE: Rewind.
Run Number 77, 11th June 2008:
WHERE:
The Old Inn, Clevedon.
HARES: DT and Rewind.
ATTENDEES: The hares plus Big Stick, Royalty & Buster, Carmel, Inchworm & Valerie, Cinders, Kerb Crawler, Walky Talky and WT's brother Martyn Rosser, Tim Bond, Up Yours.
RUN REPORT: Incidents - Early in the run Buster nearly became a headless dog! A pair of friendly shire horses met us as we climbed the stile into their field and one of them suddenly decided that Buster's head would look better kicked back over the style. It was only being low-slung that saved him - the hoof broke the catch on his collar.
Route - The hares took the pack from the Old Inn along the road towards Portishead, then off right on a footpath between Holly Lane and Norton's Wood Lane - through nettles and past the previously-mentioned shire horses. After a regroup on Norton's Wood Lane the pack climbed up an old cart road into Court Woods, through the quarry and on up to the top of the ridge following mountain bike trails. A zig-zag route back through the woods managed to confuse most of the pack but everyone made it to the beer stop overlooking the quarry once again. From there a familiar trail led out of the woods into all Saints Lane and on in.
CIRCLE: Down-downs for the hares and hash virgin Martyn, after which Tim Bond was ceremoniously renamed %quot;Lime Cordial", presumably on account of his jacket colour and because he‘s a friendly sort of fellow.
ON ON ON: Two generous platters of sarnies plus a bowl of chips were provided by the Old Inn and I'm ashamed to say we failed to finish them. We were short-handed though as the Portishead contingent had to leave early.
Run Number 76, 4th June 2008:
"The 2008 Nailsea Apple Hash"
WHERE: The Moorend Spout, Nailsea.
HARES: Rewind (13 Hashers & Hash Hound, Lucky).
We lost one member at the early stages last day. The shape was like an hourglass and they over-enthusiastically managed to broach the go and return paths and find the Cider Stop (CS) within minutes of starting in spite of several safety precautions. Otherwise it seemed to go well, the draught cider proved a hit and the cows, horses, ducks and chicken were friendly. After the CS we had a live hare for the runners taking a slightly extended route resulting in both groups reaching the Moorend Spout fairly equally. Rumours that it was an old route run backwards are totally without substance.
CIRCLE: June was asking for trouble running around the trail wearing 2 flashing pink p*n*ses on her head to celebrate her b'day so she came for a down-down along with Rex for bringing her. This also led to a discussion about June's Hash Handle and 2 suggestions came forward for RAs consideration – watch this space. Unfortunately she kept her pink headgear on for the down down so had to do another one along with returnee, James – welcome back, James. Rewind and Cinderella ran down a private road as did Coppertone who tried to talk his way out of it but no-one believed a word of his story. Beady-eyed Big Stick had noticed that Bag Lady was wearing odd trainers; she claimed she had a similar pair at home but then Walky Talky noticed that Big Stick had new shoes on! While Bag Lady supped her beer, Big Stick drank his from his now non-virgin shoes. Finally, Helen was called to account for drinking her beer before the circle began – she is young but she will learn.
ON ON ON: The pub treated us well and even included after-eight mints. Each couple got a bowl of chips to share which works out fairer than a free for all. Finally June treated us to some yummy Birthday Cake and Rex treated us to a bit of magic.
Run Number 75, 28th May 2008:

WHERE: The White Hart, Weston-in-Gordano.
HARES: Coppertone, Bag Lady, Carmel.
The expression is that hardship sorts the men from the boys, but on this wet and windy night there were actually more females than males gathered to brave the elements. Eleven hashers in all (plus one hash hound) set off through the lane opposite the pub and headed for the woods and fields beyond. The trail took in parts of Weston Big Wood along with the surrounding areas and finished in the lay-by in Valley Road for a beer stop.
CIRCLE: After the Hares, Mariem and Cinderella were brought front and centre for not wearing raincoats despite the rain. There's a hash saying: "if you've half a mind to hash, you're already over-qualified" and these two fitted that description perfectly. For mobile phone abuse (using during BS) Bag Lady came forward accompanied by Coppertone (for wearing a hat while taking his down-down as hare) and Rewind (today's SCB). Coppertone tried to plead good character for Rewind as he'd run most of the falsies but the hashers were having none of it. Then there was a quick down-down for the rest and a rush into the pub to get out of the rain.
ON ON ON: Tucked tidily away into the recess at the end of the public bar there were some excellent sandwiches to scoff. DT honoured us with a guest appearance later on.
Run Number 74, 21st May 2008:
WHERE: Ship Inn, Uphill Way, Uphill, Weston-super-Mare.
HARES: Carol & Chloe.
Twelve hashers set off on a lovely summer's evening to explore this, as-yet-undiscovered-by-BOGs hashing territory. And what a treat it turned out to be. If you weren't here, you really missed out. The trail took us to spectacular viewpoints, through meadows of wild orchids, up hills, down dales, through a church, up a monument, along footpaths and across Uphill beach. Frankly, it's going to be a hard act to follow for next week's hares; I pity them. This is about as good as it gets.
CIRCLE: Penny had brought along her significant other, Chris, who came forward for a welcoming down down in his short-lived role as Hash Virgin. That infamous SCB, Coppertone, was at it again and came front and centre to admit his crime (which he claimed was his role in life). And then it was time for Hash Handles to be awarded: a great honour because, once named, a hasher will hold that name “henceforth and forever more”. And so it came to pass that DT with the power invested in him named Chloe “Upfurit” and Carol “Upyours” (They laid the hash at Uphill – geddit?). Chloe choose the spelling of her name and decided upon Upfurit as it more closely matched its west country origins.
ON ON ON: Inside the pub we settled down for a drink and sarnies in a place away from the TV where the finals of the Champions League Trophy was being played out in Moscow between Manchester Utd and Chelsea. Man U won.

Run Number 73, 14th May 2008:
WHERE: The Old Farmhouse, Nailsea
HARES: Walky Talky & Kerb Crawler
A picturesque rural setting which included a Viewing Check over the swans on Backwell Lake and later a Regroup Check in a woodland lane. How good is that? The trail allowed the indecisive to swap between the Runners trail and the Walkers trail and took many of us to places we'd not found before.
CIRCLE: Lots of Down Downs! After the Hares were rightly honoured for an excellent hash, it was time to bring forth The Virgin. This was Helen from East Town, Lympsham (before you ask, somewhere on the Bridgwater side of Weston-super-Mare) brought to us tonight by Penny and Carole. She was welcomed with the traditional hash song and took her Down Down like a true hasher. Just Tim has been hanging around now for 15 runs and must be lining up nicely for a naming ceremony. However, on this occasion a Down Down is all he got. So many SCBs! Coppertone, Big Stick, Twirly, Royalty, Inchworm – all declared guilty. Carmel was caught trespassing on the trail, going straight past a big sign marked “PRIVATE” - obviously keen. For running on the walkers trail we had Twirly, Coppertone, Big Stick & Inchworm again, along with Bag Lady. Which left very few for the “everyone else” category but I noticed Spot On, Mo, Penny & Carole. If there's anyone I've missed out, please do something really stupid this week to get noticed and I'll make sure it's recorded for posterity.
ON ON ON: Nice sandwiches and crisps and Hopping Hare by the pint.

Run Number 72, 7th May 2008:

WHERE: DT's place, Clevedon.
HARE: DT.
21 Hashers & 2 Hash Hounds set off from DT's place for a tour of Clevedon on this lovely sunny evening. The trail overshot the park then turned back through it. A winding route took us through upper Clevedon and continued down to the sea front where there were loads of people enjoying the scenery and the good weather. Ignoring their strange looks, we followed the trail across the grass and onto the sea wall eventually picking up Poet's Walk where we regrouped at 4 short planks stuck in the ground (this could have been a work of art or a comment on our intelligence). Coppertone and Royalty, ably assisted by Buster, set off around the headland only to find a T12* and that no-one else was following them because the rest of the Pack was short-cutting, following Chloe & Jim. On On through lower Clevedon and to a high point for a Beer Stop when our fears were confirmed: Swallow and Twirly had gone AWOL. Deciding that they were both locals and could probably find their way back, we headed for home led by Rewind who found all the checks and the trails after them. * T12: the point on the trail where you turn back and count 12 blobs of flour to find the correct way to go (could be T3 or whatever).
CIRCLE: After the Hare took his Down Down , it was time to welcome our Hash Virgins, Mariam from Tunisia, brought by Kerb Crawler and Lois from Portishead brought by Jim. For the wilful wearing of a hat in the circle, Mariam took another Down Down. Ignorance of the law is no excuse but at least now she knows.
Other Hash crimes included Chloe for being today's SCB* & Jim for being an accomplice; Twirly, Swallow and Hash Hound Buster for Sex on the Hash then Swallow (again) plus Kerb Crawler for having survived a year of Hashing.
ON ON ON: Now here came a pleasant surprise: as darkness fell, we all went indoors for warming chilli followed by apple crumble and fruit salad – how good is that? With wine and beer to lubricate the parts the chilli couldn't reach, this was a very pleasant way to end the evening. Many thanks to those who prepared all the food and to DT and Swallow for the use of their house and garden.

Run Number 63, 5th March 2008:


From The Commodore, Sand Bay, the hares Lock In and Deep Throat sent us up through the woods in Worlbury then over to the housing estate for some street work. Back into the woods for numerous false trails and a picture by the wood carving. On to Lock In's beer stop and a swift jog back to the car park for a down down. Altogether about 6km, and climbing! Welcome back to an old friend and a new virgin Hasher.
After we filled up in the pub (we were the only ones there), hash dog Buster was asked to leave, drunk in charge of the ship's wheel! Chips and a roll were on offer - not the most appetizing but still everything is welcome. - Twirly.
Run Number 62, 27th February 2008:

Excellent Hash from The Old Farmhouse, Nailsea, organised by Heather and Walkie Talkie. Very intricate route (about 8km) which was enjoyed by all. Superb spread of sandwiches, dips, etc. Best ever yet and will be hard to beat - worth a return just for that! - Twirly.
Run Number 61, 20th February 2008:

The run from The Oak in Copse Road, Clevedon, (Hare: Deep Throat) was attended by 13 members and two dogs, all participants kept together winding their way through the back streets, church yards, and pub carparks to eventually work up to Strawberry Hill. Beer stop in the Hare's friends' drive and then on up to the trig point/cricket pitch for a view over Clevedon and the Mendips. On down (sic-Ed.) through the Zig Zag back to the pub. Several fines ensued and hot cider punch (probably the last this season) were consumed as fines. On in for good plate of rolls and the usual rendition from Cinderella for his folk night. Everyone had a good time. - Twirly.
Run Number 60, 13th February 2008:

WHERE:
The Crown Inn, Skinners Lane, Churchill.
HARE: Rewind.

Run Number 59, 6th February 2008:
WHERE:
The Royal Oak, Portishead.
WHO: 12 Hashers, 2 Hash Hounds.
HARES: June Seville, Spot On, Wendy and Carmel.
RUN REPORT: Turing right out of the pub and up the hill towards Clevedon, past the school to our first dilemma of the night, a false trail but no check points had been reached. Our hare virgins had forgotten the check point (apparently it was there but being written in pale blue chalk it was easy to miss in the dark). All hashers split to explore all local roads and finally discovered the route continuing down hill towards the coastal path, where we slotted in right on schedule behind the walkers. The runners had a loop round the lighthouse before meeting up again with the walkers on the pitch and putt course and the whole group spread out to try to locate what proved to be the elusive white molehills which we were assured marked the trail.
We picked up the trail again at the Windmill and in due course found ourselves by the lake grounds, walkers and runners splitting taking the low and high roads. A regroup was missed at the back of the swimming pool by some and walkers split again with runners climbing up through the woods to finally meet up beside the Royal Pub. All proceeded along the quay until another split at the lock gate sending the runners across the lock gate through the building sites and loop back to meet up with the walkers at the leisure centre car park for a well-earned beer stop.
Suitably refreshed, the runners headed out towards the High Street and up along the back roads to Avon Way. A loop round the back of the houses to climb the steep hill and steps brought us back onto Avon Way for a short section and finally up the old cobbled street to join West Hill and thankfully the sight of the pub enticingly at the summit.
CIRCLE: We welcomed a virgin hasher, Kitty Chen and commented on her first magnificent run. Twirly, Royalty and Carmel were given fines for being too perfect and sticking to the route.
ON ON ON: Real ale on tap and two platters of tasty sandwiches were quickly consumed by the group whilst watching the end of the England vs Switzerland friendly football match. Rex proceeded to entertain onlookers with his card tricks and disappearing handkerchief.
Run Number 58, 30rd January 2008:

WHERE:
The King's Arms, Easton in Gordano.
WHO: 12 Hashers, 2 Hash Hounds.
HARE: Cinderella and Heather.
RUN REPORT: Cinderella was late as he had experienced an emergency whilst laying the final section of the route. Heather fell and suffered cuts to her top lip and had broken her front teeth. She was rushed to the Cottage Hospital in Clevedon for immediate treatment, then on to Frenchay Casualty. Cinderella returned to continue the Hash (there's dedication for you!).
We headed out towards Portbury, across the motorway. There was a false trail into the car depot and a return back under the motorway into Pill. Several false trails and circular routes ensued to finally lead us to a regroup and viewpoint down the Avon from the sailing club at the Pill. Back on route following the Sustrans cycle track towards the new housing estate in Pill, back onto the main road and beer stop at the Pill Fire Station. On on through the housing estate and across rough fields to our final destination.
A superbly devious trail which had even Deep Throat confused.
CIRCLE: Due to the unfortunate incident with Heather, the circle took place inside the pub.
ON ON ON: A returned Hasher, Tim Bond was welcomed back. A plate of chips and plenty of sandwiches were forthcoming and everyone tucked in heartily. The sandwiches were quite delicious and good local clear cider coupled with real ales completed a fine night.

Run Number 57, 23rd January 2008:

WHERE:
The Market Inn Yatton.
WHO: 18 Hashers, 2 Hash Hounds, Visiting Hasher (Lockout) from Weston Women's Running Network and Sport 4 Life.
HARE: Deep Throat.
RUN REPORT: A group photo was taken for Sport 4 Life publicity purposes with all members giving a smile before the start. The 15 Hashers split and soon the runners were following many false trails. We wound our way through the back roads of Yatton towards Claverham and finally started climbing up Cadbury hill at the back of Cadbury Hotel and country club. Out on to the main road towards the pub, false trail sent us all back through the church yard and on to the old Strawberry rail line. Back along the track and on in.
CIRCLE: A few fines were handed out, Down down and on on inside.
ON ON ON: Inside the pub we were welcomed by the landlord and lady and were presented with two huge platters of mixed sandwiches. it was a struggle to devour all of them. Beer selection was good and pleasant conversation was had by all.

Run Number 56, 16th January 2008:

Hashers advertise the North Somerset campaign to encourage people to get out and exercise. It might just have the opposite effect!
WHERE:
The Angel Inn, Long Ashton.
WHO: 13 Hashers & 2 Hash Hounds ( 3 Virgins )
HARES: Big Stick & Deep Throat
RUN REPORT: The shout went out from Deep Throat: "There's a break in the cloud - let's go before it starts to rain again!" Everyone arrived at the Pub on time, where was the Hare? 5 mins past, at last the familiar red Smart car appeared with Deep Throat at the wheel, the ceremony for warming up began and introductions for the new Hashers. A westerly route across the sheep fields started us off towards Ashton Court and several false trails and loops kept the group well packed to lead us across the Cumberland Basin cycle routes and across the Avon on the old railway bridge, the Avon was in full flow on its ebb, not a night for romantic views up to the suspension bridge. On On called to follow the tow path route in to town, a T5 pulled the runners back in to cross the river again on to Coronation rd and back towards the City ground, more loops/false trails around the park kept the walkers and runners on an even pace, one regroup, time to get cold and view the stars through the lights from the City ground, it must have been a reserve match, none of the roads were full up with parked cars. On On, up and down various steps and underpasses giving false hopes of an early return to the pub! We were heading in to town again, a sharp right turn through the local out-of-town shopping emporium led us to a timely beer stop by the railway line. Fully replenished with another tasty beverage from Big Stick. On On across the railway and down towards South Liberty Lane; another false trail, back we went, where next? Follow the route across the fields to the park and ride. Until now the ground had been either grass, tarmac or paving; the thought of getting back to the car without having to change footwear seemed a remote possibility. The Hare had it all in his stride, no more Mr. Nice Guy the mud and water got deeper the further we went, if your feet weren't wet before they certainly would be now. Another false trail heading back to the pub sent us up the Long Ashton by pass across some very deep muddy fields, classic Hashing; climbed the stile (was there one?) On In gave the sign we were not far from home but the best of the mud had been saved for last. I do believe a herd of Wildebeest had churned up the path we followed to get back, there was no escape, you had to get in it to get on, last push through the mud in to the back of the church and the pub.
CIRCLE: Deep Throat had the Virgins fully enrolled with Down Downs, as is the custom, with the Hares. No fines for wearing hats given out although it was cold. Inch Worm achieved a 15 hash award, two runs for not falling over, we may have to re name him! The Hash hounds took the circle for no apparent reason! Leaving a timely number to finish off and retire to the pub.
ON ON ON: The pub had produced two platefuls of sandwich's and a tray of chips. They didn't last long between 13 hungry hashers, the pose for a photo and the evening was complete. Another very successful hash complete.
Run Number 55, 9th January, 2008:

WHERE: The Prince of Waterloo Winford.
WHO: 13 Hashers, 2 Hash Hounds.
HARE: Deep Throat.
RUN REPORT: The 13 Hashers split and soon the runners were following many false trails. We wound our way through the back alleys of Winford to finally start climbing out onto the water-logged fields. Even the lanes had been turned into rivers; calls for aqualung, flippers and ducks were heard. Various cross-country routes ensued to finally arrived at the Beer Stop. Hot toddies waiting for the walkers to appear, what had delayed them? Finally, after guiding in with the aid of Carmel's new high-powered red Petzl head torch, an easy jet flight from warmer climates. Lucky had got a different scent than the hare had laid and considered it was fair game. In the dark June was very calm until she caught him. I cannot repeat what was said, enough to say Lucky had used up all of his brownie points and would be led home. The runners shot off to finish in style. Inch Worm called out T 10! What!!! T10! That's a record, Deep Throat had excelled himself. Back we went, caught the walkers and meandered across more rice fields to finally see the welcoming lights from Winford. On In and up the hill to the top car park for the circle.
CIRCLE: Few fines were handed out, Swallow received a long service to Somerset Hashing, and Inch Worm had finally failed to live up to his name, despite the Jiggy. Down down and on on inside.
ON ON ON: Inside the pub we found a secluded niche and proceeded to devour the tomato and basil soup with crusty brown and white bread (not so much pepper next time, but welcoming nonetheless). Cinderella and Walkie Talkie left to get back for "the Band" at the Oak and it was left for Deep Throat to encourage new hares to come forward, Wendy and Mo were coerced but with assistance we will get more variations for future Hashes.
Run number 54, 2nd January, 2008:

Ten brave souls and Lucky, the dog, (unfortunately Buster was unable to attend, some say he was missed!) met in The Star at Tickenham. The warm-up was needed and a quick jog up the hill to avoid the rush hour traffic split the group quickly as there was to be no re-groups. Walkers meandered across the fields and up on to Cadbury Camp lane. Swallow and Big Stick agreed that a detour for early preparation of the Hot Toddies was necessary so they splintered off along the lane and back down to the church stop. Meanwhile the remaining walkers carried on down Wood Lane to Clapton in Gordano. The runners had looped around Old Lane across to Naish Farm and through Parsonage wood, the Black Horse at Clapton was calling out! Rewind produced a damp ten pound note and stood us all for a swift half. On On through Nicholas Wood and climbing again up to the foot path crossing the M5. On through West Park wood and down the hill across to folly farm and the Beer stop at Tickenham court. The car windows were all steamed up when we arrived but a lavish feast was awaiting. On on across the moors and back to the Star for the final Down down. Official distance set at 6K but Deep Throat's GPS calculated it at 14k; somewhere in between, methinks!

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